I SUCK AT GIRLS

JUSTIN HALPERN

Justin Halpern is best-known for SHIT My Dad Says, a collection of his father’s pithy comments that started as a Twitter feed and led to a best-selling book and short-lived TV series. Shit is a must read! Laugh out loud funny. If you haven’t read it get it now. Read my review.

Suck is Justin’s memoir; Dad is still in the book but it is about Justin’s life. The brief and comically self-deprecating I Suck at Girls traces his previously unsatisfying relationships with the opposite sex. Starting in grade two he tries to woo an attractive classmate by drawing her a picture that lands him in the principal’s office. Justin doesn’t have a clue how to approach a girl. In sixth grade, he and a friend make their way into a canyon next to a Little League field; discover and steal a stash of porn; and find themselves being chased by two bearded homeless men, “each of whom looked like Nick Nolte molded in beef jerky.”  He uses some wonderful imagery. “Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, “I have to have a Toyota Camry.” But most people who spend some time in a Camry start to like it. “It’s pretty reliable,” they think. “It doesn’t have a lot of problems, and it’s not bad to look at. You know what? I’d probably prefer a nicer car. But I can live with a Camry.”

It’s a great quick read.

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